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Perennial Starter
Many moons ago I wrote a Perennial Starter that was all about what we feed our dogs. On re-reading it I seemed quite proud of the fact that I fed my dogs cardboard kibble and that it took 6 nanoseconds to get the feeding over and done with. Well, why not? I fed them premium cardboard at £30 per sack and none of them ever refused to eat it. Also, I’m a busy person and a veggie so I could not be doing with anything more complicated, time-consuming, or most importantly, graphically dead-animally.
Then last year the voices started. There was just one at first so I found it easy to ignore. It was an aberration – I did not want to listen. But then it was joined by a few others and they changed their tone to helpful and encouraging rather than accusing. They were all saying, “why don’t you BARF?” At first I thought this was a comment on some lack of personal hygiene that had gone unnoticed or at least unmentioned by my family and close friends. Anyway, I prefer to shower. But no, they did not mean this. They were trying to get me to join a band of enthusiasts who seemed to think it appropriate to feed dogs on raw meat. Well, I ask you – have you ever heard of such a thing? Giving raw meat to dogs! AND they let them eat bones. We all know that dogs are biologically adapted to eat processed and cooked foods that have been shaped and coloured to look appetising to humans.
But then the trigger came. From last December onwards I suffered a catalogue of disasters with my dogs and I started to think they were being poisoned by the new fancy all-singing, all-dancing, shiny-wrappered complete food that I had started to feed them in November. There was nothing else for it; I was going to start preparing their food from scratch so I knew what was going in. My first step was to buy the Billingshurst bible and get scared by how complicated it looked, but then I joined an Internet list where folk exchanged knowledge on the subject. This is a strange list to be on, especially for a squeamish veggie like me, because the subject matter is disgusting. A year ago I thought that BARFing was being sick, honking up, ralphing, technicolour yawning or five finger spraying. Now I know it is. Okay, some folk think it stands for bones and raw food, but just read my e-mails every morning whilst eating your muesli and you’ll see I’m right. People happily talk about what gory remains they get from the butcher and which bits liquidise the best – it’s revolting, but strangely and perversely addictive. I wonder what ghastly thing someone can write next!
There are also the zealots. My reason for changing my dogs to raw food was a knee jerk reaction to some strange health problems that all turned out to be unrelated to diet. I did not do it to gain some moral high ground over the wicked people who still feed their dogs biologically inappropriate diets. I have had a few wrist slaps for still feeding my dogs some biscuit but my argument is that they like it. In the same way that my husband and I like lager and crisps and pizza. It’s not good for us but what the heck!
I suppose I should mention the dogs and how they feel about this. This first time they were presented with whole chickens wings, two of them looked at me and asked what they were supposed to do with them. The others, including the gap-toothed Beagle, did the doggy equivalent of screaming “Yeeee Haaaaa” whilst slapping their thighs and set to crunching through the bony limbs with gusto. Within seconds the other two got the message and probably used their jaws properly for the first time in their lives. Within a few days I was elevated to the status of haute-cuisine goddess, a canine Delia. I can now throw any stuff at them and they crunch first and ask questions later. In terms of their health it has been brilliant and I am having an amazing agility season with my dogs. What’s more, the mini escapologist has not tried to leave home since the catering improved.
There is a down side though. First, you have to be able to store this stuff, which means buying a freezer. I thought about that long and hard before I realised a freezer was the cost of just 5 bags of premium kibble. Then you have to remember to defrost the food every day. Many a time I’ve waved a kettle of hot water over the food until I realised that dogs can eat frozen meat perfectly okay – wolves do it in the Arctic all the time. There’s also the gunge. You can tell a real BARF dog by looking at its front legs. If it has blood and grease on them, it has enjoyed a good meaty bone recently. I have learned to shut the kitchen door as some of my dogs liked to take their meal onto a settee or rug and consume it there with a consequent greasy smear that the dogs spent the next two hours licking until the pile came out of the carpet.
So this all leads me to make some requests of show organisers, especially when we are all camping for a few days. Can we 1) have classes sponsored by raw meat suppliers rather than the canine equivalent of McDonalds and, 2) can we have raw meat delivered to the shows every day so we don’t have to bring our travelling abattoir storeroom with us? This delivery would be the highlight of the day, don’t you think? Perhaps they could feed the dogs like they do the lions at Longleat – just drive around the campsite in a truck and chuck carcasses off the side. Hmmm, worth some thought
